My Life

Moving my blog

2011-01-12T17:17:00.001-05:00

I'm hoping to post more often, but one of the changes I'm making is moving my blog over to Wordpress.. so check out my blog over there...

Joel's NEW Blog http://joelcornett.com/

I Hate This Feeling

2011-01-01T00:48:00.005-05:00

This is the first post in a while. I wrote this, not because I care if people read it, but because I needed to. Does that make sense?

I hate this feeling I feel growing inside. This feeling that comes in and out like waves on the shore. It rushes in, overwhelming at times, then it pulls away as fast as it came in, but never actually going away... I hate this feeling I feel growing inside. What does it mean? When will it change? Sometimes change is good, and sometimes bad. I wonder what kind of change I want. I hate this feeling I feel growing inside. This feeling that causes tears to well up in my eyes, even as it just crosses my mind. This feeling that, when I begin to think about dealing with it, causes those tears to flow, even as I write this now. I hate this feeling I feel growing inside. I'm finding it hard to believe. Do I really believe what I believe is what I believe? I know these truths, I really do believe them. I've told these truths to so many people. It's not really that I don't believe, it's just that I'm having a hard time getting these truths from my head to my heart. I hate this feeling I feel growing inside. I want to talk about it, but what do I say? How do I say it? I hate this feeling I feel growing inside. I want to tell someone about it, but who do I tell? What do I day, "Hi, I'm your rock when your life is unstable, but now my life is unstable"? I hate this feeling I feel growing inside. When will it end? How will it end? Do I really want it to end? It has to end. I can't keep going on like this. I pray to God everyday to end it, this feeling, but it's still there. Never ending. But it needs to. I hate this feeling.

Time

2010-01-05T16:09:00.006-05:00

Wow, it has been a long time since I've posted, but life has been busy, and I've been pushing off my postings... Well, maybe I'll do better, maybe I won't, I don't really know, but I've come back because I have a friend who posted something on his blog that I felt was worth sharing, so ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu, I give you Chris Hall:

It’s strange the way our mistakes can haunt us long after they’ve happened. Certainly, there are transgressions whose effects are naturally felt through the years, but then there are others that, while they seemed so small at the time, carry on much longer than you would have thought.
I never wanted to be someone who looked back and saw only mistakes – that’s no way to live – and I don’t think that’s how I view my life when looking back. Sure, I have my regrets but I don’t let them darken the sun in my skies. This week, though, I’ve been thinking back to one regret in particular. One time where I sincerely wish I’d turned left instead of right, spoken instead of being silent.
Some time ago I had a very dear friend. She was very sweet and very caring. Her compassion seemed limitless and she was a far better friend to me than I ever deserved. She held an optimism that seemed to keep the contemptible in me at bay and I was a better person for knowing her. The last time she called me I was sitting at my desk, the same one I’m writing at now. She said she wouldn’t be calling me anymore. She had to move on with her life. She had a different road to take and it was a road that went away from me.
I didn’t blame her. I knew what she was telling me was the truth. This was simply the way things were. Events I helped set in motion had reached their inevitable conclusion. Still, I felt cold after our brief conversation. I felt naked to the wind and I knew that I had lost something good.
My regret, even still, is that I took her for granted. I took something that was deliberately bright and true in my life and threw it in the weeds of apathy. It was a loss of my own making and something I can never gain back. She did move on with her life and, from what I hear, is very happy. I’m glad to hear that. I’m glad that she’s happy . She deserves it more than most.
I hadn’t intended to write about her. I tried not to. I thought it was too personal, but it affects me now and I’m learning from it now and that is reason enough to share.
Some of the best advice my dad has ever given me is to get rid of the “what ifs” in my life. I’ve never been much of a risk taker but when I hear my dad’s voice telling me those words I know that what I can’t risk is my life on the mundane. True, risks involve pain and I’ve had plenty when those risks didn’t pay off. But that pain is nothing compared to the pain of “what if.”
So I’ve decided I want 2010 to be the year with no “what ifs.” That means a lot of risks, a lot of joy, a lot of pain. But isn’t that the way life should be lived? When 2011 rolls around and we’re one year closer to oblivion I better not be looking back at this year and asking “what if?”.
“What if I hadn’t taken a friend for granted?”
“What if I’d gone out and lived for other people?”
“What if I’d told you that I loved you?”
“What if I’d made that phone call?”
“What if, what if, what if...” The possibilities go on and on. The point is life is short. These years pass with alarming speed and the dead cannot seize a second chance. Live well because this year may be the last you can. Sometimes it takes a look back at the days we didn’t seize to give us reason to relish today.
When my end comes and my Maker asks me how I liked His gift I want to be able to say “It was a life well lived.”

You can find Chris at The Cynic's Alley

Money vs Passion

2009-09-30T09:32:00.005-04:00

"It's not about the money we make
It's about the passions that we ache for
What makes your heart beat faster?"
~ "Time & Confusion" by Anberlin

I love these lines from this song, because that statement is so true. Life is not about our jobs and the money, and what we have and own, but yet, that is what we are taught so often. But look at this world, especially in our economy, those who are the most depressed are those who have built their happiness on their stuff, but those who have built their happiness on their faith, and their passions, and what they enjoy, they are the ones who, while things are hard, they still are happy, and un-worried/stressed. I have been talking with several people recently who are working jobs they HATE because their passions aren't in it, and I was wondering what would our world look like if everyone moved and worked with their passions? I understand that sometimes you have to work a job that isn't your passion because your passion doesn't pay enough for you live off of it, but if you can't make a living doing your passion, are you making sure that your job is allowing you to pursue your passion? I would challenge you to start living your life with a meaning that is not about the money we make, but one with the passions that we have.

Our Greatest Fear...

2009-06-24T17:10:00.002-04:00

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?" Actually who are you to not be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people the permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~ Nelson Mandela

Thoughts?

This is the Correlation of Salvation and Love

2009-06-10T14:35:00.000-04:00

“This is the correlation of salvation and love
Don't drop your arms
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in”
~ “The Unwinding Cable Car” by Anberlin

I have been listening to this song a lot, and the chorus here keeps getting stuck in my head, and I’m sitting here thinking about these lines, and wondering “what is the correlation of salvation and love in our lives?” You see, the word correlation (according to the Oxford-American dictionary) means “a mutual relationship or connection between 2 or more things”. So where does our love meet our salvation? How do those outside of our little church seats see it? Often I don’t think many of us really think about it. One of the things I absolutely love is the youth (Amplify Youth Group) at my church (Gap Community Church) this summer, because I see the correlation of salvation and love in their lives. (Now I get to brag how awesome they are for a minute…) They are going to be doing this thing called “The Servants Journey” and they are going to be doing a bunch of service project things in the community, and it is so cool to see them get fired up for this. We also have a group of kids who go into Lancaster city every week and work with the homeless. When they go, they don’t go and be like “hi, we’re from a church, and a youth group and this and that” they just are doing it anonymously, and to me, that shows that there are no hidden motives beneath them doing this. I am so honored to know kids who are that selfless and willing to serve…

Ok, enough bragging on the awesome kids… So what is our correlation, our meeting place, of our salvation and love? It can be something so simple as taking the time to talk to or hang out with someone. I think that selfless service is what it is all about. When Christ said to us that we should go and serve people in love. This is also I think what James meant when he said that Faith without works is dead. (James 2, like verse 26 or something like that) If we have salvation, but we don’t do anything with it, what good is it? We can love people, and do good things, but they don’t get us salvation, the two MUST meet somewhere. I think to long, the church has sat around and not served the people it is there for. There is a story (and I don’t know how true it is) about a city that was under siege, and those of the church sat in their building while the city was crumbling around them, discussing if the Virgin Mary had blue eyes or not. Even if the story isn’t true, the fact that the church has a reputation that would let people believe that the story might be true is so disgusting to me. I was reading a book for staff meeting at GCC, and there is a quote that goes along so well with this post: "We all seem to pretty contented with ourselves in church and that makes me sick. I think all this contentment makes Jesus nervous." ~ Robert Coles, Wittenburg Door. When people around us are fighting battles, we should be there, saying to them don’t drop your arms, don’t give up, I’ll help you, I’ll fight along side you… I want us to fight this image that people have of the passive church, and I know it feels like we are going to be fighting an impossible, uphill battle, but nothing worth doing is ever done without a fight of some sort…
“You're so brilliant
Don't soon forget
You're so brilliant
Grace marks your heart”

thoughts?

Maybe God Can Be On Both Sides of the Gun

2009-05-22T06:25:00.003-04:00

This is just my first draft (and short draft) of my sermon that was inspired by the line below...

“Maybe God can be on both sides of the gun,
Never understood why some of us never get it so good, so good”
~ “Say When” by The Fray

When I first heard this song, I was listening to the whole album in my truck, and I was going down the road, thinking, listening, but not really listening, you know what I’m talking about? But as I’m driving, I hear this line “maybe God can be on both sides of the gun” and I think “wait, what?” So I quick grabbed my iPod and rewound a bit, and listened to it again. I got to thinking about that line. What does it mean that maybe God can be on both sides of the gun? Does God pull the trigger? Does he get shot? Both? I had a problem with the thought of God pulling the trigger, because that would mean that God would intentionally harm us, or even kill us… But as I got thinking, I began to wonder if maybe what he means here is that God will be there, to comfort everyone, on both sides… Both the victim and the shooter… Right in the chorus it says “and my own two hands will comfort you tonight, say when, and my own two arms will carry you tonight, say when.” I think God is there, and says, to the victim, I will carry you myself, and then to the shooter he says, “I will comfort you in your time of trouble.” You see, we are so quick to say that God is there for those who are down and on the ground from the gun, but we often don’t acknowledge that God is there for the person who pulled the trigger as well… God cares for us all, so why would he leave the shooter out to rot for Satan, and not be there for him? Maybe, just maybe, we need to acknowledge that those who “gun us down” need God’s comfort just as much as we do. And I don’t mean in like “they need Jesus” arrogant, self-righteous way that we as Christians often do, but in a loving, caring way. Is this what Jesus meant when he said to love your enemy? So maybe next time you feel like someone has gunned you down, picture Jesus standing there with them, because they need his comfort just as much as you need him to carry you while you heal. Maybe God can be on both sides of the gun…

Thoughts?

I'm so sorry...

2009-05-07T16:41:00.005-04:00

I want to first apologize to Shannon, it was wrong of me to post on Facebook the things I did, and then I next want to aplogize to the students and everyone else, i never ment to hurt you guys as well... I hope you guys can forgive me...

For those of you who don't know, i'll tell you now, today was my last day of Master's. I am not kicked out, nor did I quit persay, but after a lot of prayer, and discussion with Shannon, Ashley, and Kaytee, I feel that the best thing for me to do is to move on to whatever is next for me...

I've posted some song lyrics below that parts I feel really capture my heart and what is going on right now... (i've bolded and italicized what I feel really jumps out and captures my heart and mind)

"Wrap me in a bolt of lightning
Send me on my way still smiling
Maybe that's the way I should go,
Straight into the mouth of the unknown
I left the spare key on the table
Never really thought I'd be able to say
I merely visit on the weekends
I lost my whole life and a dear friend"

I'm sorry to you, but i think it's best that I leave, and that I move on into the unknown...

"I've said it so many times
I would change my ways
No, nevermind
God knows I've tried"

I have tried so hard to change things, and said I would, and some things did change.

[Chorus]
"Call me a sinner, call me a saint
Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same
Call me your favorite, call me the worst
Tell me it's over I don't want you to hurt
It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way"

I still love you guys, and I always will. I have done a lot this year, and hurt a lot of you, and I'm sorry for that, and you should never have had to walk through that...

"I finally put it all together,
But nothing really lasts forever
I had to make a choice that was not mine,
I had to say goodbye for the last time
I kept my whole life in suitcase,
Never really stayed in one place
Maybe that's the way it should be,
You know I live my life like a gypsy"

It was time for me to move on, and while it was my choice, in the end, I believe it was God's choice as well...

[Pre-Chorus]

[Chorus]

I'll always keep you inside, you healed my
Heart and my life... And you know I try.

I'll keep you guys in my heart, and I'm still here if you need me. I love you...

[Chorus]

Please feel free to talk to me if you have any questions or anything you want to say...

p.s. lyrics are from the song "Call Me" by Shinedown...

William Wallace Jesus

2009-04-21T13:36:00.002-04:00

4-21-09
11 I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war. 12His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. 13He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. 14The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. 15Out of his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. "He will rule them with an iron scepter." He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. 16On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written:
KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.
Revelation 19:11 – 16
This is kind of a continuation of what I wrote previously about how we don’t think on the power and might of God very often, and just skipped to the love part, and so we think of a Mother Teresa type Jesus. But how about when he flips over the tables in the temple and made a whip out of cords and drove the cattle out? (John 2:15 if you guys want to know where in the bible that is) We don’t talk about that much, but Jesus was pissed at that point. I mean, if I came into any place, and started flipping tables, then made a whip out of cords, people would have a field day with me. But we just skip it. How about Jesus in Revelations? In Revelation 19:11 – 16 they talk about Jesus being powerful and his robes dipped in blood. Does that sound like Mother Teresa to you? Sounds more like William Wallace (Braveheart), or Maximus Decimus Meridius (Gladiator) or King Leonidas (300). We picture Jesus as this calm little guy, skinny, not very powerful, maybe giving a peace sign, but read those verses in Revelation don’t speak to a meek guy, they speak to a warrior, a God who will fight like crazy. ROBES DIPPED IN BLOOD!!! Does that sound like a meek guy to you? I think we need to make a Jesus movie, and have like Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, John Cena, or Arnold Schwarzenegger to play him, someone with power, strength, someone who when they get pissed, you might be scared of, because I’ll be honest, that image of Jesus with robes dipped in blood scares the crap out of me, but I love it.

Thoughts?

Jack Bauer or John McClain

2009-04-21T05:45:00.002-04:00

I'm posting this while i finish my other blog post, should be up tomorrow (or later today or something...)

Awe?

2009-04-07T13:17:00.002-04:00

This is my scripture memory sermon for this week...

4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.
6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:
7 all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,
8 the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.
9 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
Psalm 8:4 – 9
I love this Psalm because you can just feel the awe of the writer (I assume David) when he thinks about God. I wonder sometimes why we just skip over the awe of God. We as Christians tend to focus on Gods love only, which isn’t a bad thing, but we sometimes just skip everything else. I think that is why our view of Christ is only this kind caring person, like mother Teresa, but Jesus was also a fighter, and powerful. Even the “power scenes” of Jesus we take and give this soft loving spin to, like when Jesus calmed the waves, we say “Jesus calmed the storm, and will calm the storm in your life because he loves you”. Ummmmm hello? Lets think for a minute here, HE CALMED THE STORM! HE SPOKE, AND THE WAVES STOPPED!!! Yes, he calms the storm in your life and all that, but we are so quick to jump to the application, and we don’t take the proper time to realize God and worship him in his power. That is what I pray we do, recognize God in his power, and take the time to be in awe of it… (there is so much more I wanted to put in here, but I think it is stuff better saved for a different sermon…)

Big Girls Don't Cry? (Don't judge my song...)

2009-03-19T13:59:00.001-04:00

March 19, 2009
So, I have been listening to my iPod and I have shuffled all the song so that I can hear something maybe I haven’t listened to before or in a while. And as I have been listening, (and don’t judge me on this one…) the song “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie came on, and in a way I’m kinda ashamed to admit, I haven’t been able to get past it… It’s been making me think a lot about things. I hear the song, and my heart breaks for her. I noticed a few things when I listened to it…
1. I hear a lot of references to childhood and playing or being a child. I wonder if maybe she is missing her childhood, back in life when things were simple, when she didn’t have a care in the world, but kept wishing she would grow up.
2. I get the feeling that the line of “big girls don’t cry” is something someone has told her all her life (father maybe, idk) but she has taken it to heart, and now feels like she can’t cry, that she has to be tough.
3. You can hear it in the song that she is hurting, and it sounds like it is because she has put her hope and faith in some guy in her life, and he has kinda left her, whether just because he has to get back to whatever life he had or if because they are no longer a couple, I don’t know, but it has left her heartbroken. She thinks that she can find her satisfaction in this guy, but she doesn’t. So now she is trying to figure what she is going to do “It's personal, myself and I. We've got some straightening out to do”. She is trying to get her life sorted out, and so she is cutting herself off from this guy she has put her hope in to do it, which is definitely a step in the right direction, but I kinda wonder where she is going from there?

I think we need to be sure to take time to pray for those in the entertainment industry, because if you look and listen, you can see and hear their breaking hearts all over the place. We should be praying for them when we see that, but instead we often just say “wow, they are really messed up, they need to get their life in order…” (I’m including myself in this). Lets take time to pray for them... Whose with me?

Am I Worth It?

2009-03-10T13:51:00.000-04:00

Who am I? Am I worth it? Am I worth fighting for? I feel called to fight spiritually for others, but yet, when others offer to fight for me, I brush them off, and turn and see whom else I can fight for… And during worship in Coram Deo (our chapel service) today God really started to point out this lie that I had come to believe, the lie that I wasn’t worth fighting for, all I was good for was to be on the front line as a little peon doing what I am told, fighting for others, which is good, but not worth the fight myself… I see myself as a such a little insignificant person that is not worth the fight, so when people try to fight for me, I push them away. God is showing me that I need to let others fight for me… I just had a thought as I’m writing this, could this lie of my not being worth it, lead to a form of pride? I am not worth it, so when others come to fight for me, I turn them away because I want to die fighting for myself, with the pride of fighting for myself? I really don’t know, but it’s something to think about…

Psalm 114

2009-03-05T12:17:00.008-05:00

I was reading through Psalms, and I stumbled upon this chapter, so I decided to post the whole chapter (relax, it's only 8 verses...)

1 When Israel came out of Egypt,
the house of Jacob from a people of foreign tongue,

2 Judah became God's sanctuary,
Israel his dominion.

3 The sea looked and fled,
the Jordan turned back;

4 the mountains skipped like rams,
the hills like lambs.

5 Why was it, O sea, that you fled,
O Jordan, that you turned back,

6 you mountains, that you skipped like rams,
you hills, like lambs?

7 Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord,
at the presence of the God of Jacob,

8 who turned the rock into a pool,
the hard rock into springs of water.

God recently has been bringing me through a time of renewing the awe I have in Him, and what He can do. So look starting in verse 3 as it talks about the power of God and what He did. But it is summed up so well in verses 7 & 8. "Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord [...] who turned the rock into a pool, the hard rock into springs of water". God causes the earth to tremble, just by His presence... Think about it, when you read about people falling to their feet, and being afraid, all they did was walk into the room where He was and it started... That would be like I walk in the room, and just me walking in makes everyone in the room who sees it, and even the room itself, start to tremble and worship me, and I haven't even spoken or done anything yet... (I'm not saying I'm god, but I'm using this as a comparison to the power of God). That is power beyond all compare, that is the power that God has been showing me again... God, take me deeper into to your presence, wash over me with your power, I want to tremble and be afraid, because it is a trembling and fear that leads to worship...

Take me to a place where I can see You face to face

2009-02-18T13:46:00.005-05:00

"So take me to a place
where I can see You face to face
and all I wanna do, all I wanna do
is worship You"
~ "Found" by Hillsong United

That is probably one of my favorite lines from a song by Hillsong, because I believe that it captures so well the attitude we should have as Christians. We we should always want to see God face to face, and worship him...

Modern-day Pharaohs=Church Politics?

2009-02-13T13:33:00.001-05:00

So today we were beginning prayer, and one of our Students asked, “Is anyone else in love with the song ‘Freedom’ by Jason Upton?” And I do love that song, so of course, I put it on… Well, what would you know, God really spoke to me in a few lines from the song (God spoke me in a song, go figure, lol)… The lines that really got to me were:
“Well, we live in a country supposedly Pharaoh-less,
But all over town and in churches abide
Powerful weaklings who practice they're politics
Stealing from Jesus his beautiful bride.”
And it got me thinking. I’m not really going to discuss it, because I want you to think about it yourself as well, and please, please, please post your thoughts about it…

Noise...

2009-02-12T12:25:00.005-05:00

The following is an excerpt from my Prayer Journal today:
"February 12, 2009
What is it? What is it that you want from me? I have spent so much time before you, asking for a voice with words to speak, not just a voice that makes noise. But as I sit and pray, I hear nothing, no words form, just noise. When? When will the noise make sense? When will your words be spoken? How much longer do I have to wait? I feel like I have been waiting forever. I know that you say that when we ask, you give, but why, then, do I ask, and not receive? Or at least, don’t feel like I receive? If I have received, open my eyes to what you have given, so that I know that it is there. In the words of the song “I’m here to meet with you, come meet with me. I’m here to find you, reveal yourself to me.” God, I’m here, so why don’t I feel like you are here too? I feel like I’m doing this on my own, but yet, I know that isn’t true…"

As I'm praying and writing the last line posted here, the song "Every Breath" by Gateway Worship came on, and I don't think it was a crazy random happenstance. I think God timed it right, because as I listened to it, God said "Joel, let this be your prayer..." So I've posted the song, but the lines that really jumped out at me I bolded & italicized:

"Verse:
Lord, You’re so amazing to me,
How can I find the words
To convey what Your love means,
I’d give all I have and more

Pre-Chorus:
In the times I am weak, You come rescue me
Through the words that You speak over me
From the depths of my soul
Lord, I want You to know
That this life that I live is for You

Chorus:
Every breath, Lord, all that I am
I want my life to bring You glory
Every moment, with all that I have
I want my life to bring You glory

Bridge:
Forever, I surrender"

When I am weak, You rescue me, therefore, with every breath, with all that I am, with every moment, with everything I have, I want to praise You, and forever I'm surrendering to You.

I wonder?

2009-02-11T13:39:00.004-05:00

I wonder... Where did the awe go?
Where did the imagination go?
Where did the trust go?
Where did we fall away from those days when we knew that people were worth the effort?
I'm talking about the days when we were little kids, and the world was just awe inspiring...
Remember being a kid and when you would drive around all you wanted to do was look out the window at the world pass by? (or read a book and get lost in your imagination?) Remember when during recess all you needed to be entertained was a few friends and your imagination? I remember being in elementary school, and me and my friends (sometimes just one, sometimes a few) would just walk around the playground talking and using our imaginations to make up games...
Remember being a kid and when you met a new kid, you could go off and play with them, before you even knew his/her name? That used to happen to me a lot, I would be somewhere doing something, and I would end up playing a game with some kid I didn't know, and we would play for like 30 min before we would learn each others name...
Remember when as a kid you trusted people, maybe not blindly, but more instictually? Where did we lose that trust? As a kid, when someone told you something, you usually trusted them. Why now do we question everything someone tells us?
Why is it that children can be some of the most compassionate people on earth? Shouldn't that be a title that adults carry? Why is it that we can see someone crying, and as kids, we tended to want to reach out to them, comfort them, etc, but now as adults, we tend to shy away from that?
I wonder if that is what Jesus meant when he said we were to have faith like a child?

Thoughts?

Ready For God?

2009-01-29T12:44:00.003-05:00

TIME FOR ANOTHER UPDATE!!! And it is a song that got me thinking… (go figure…) We are in prayer today, and while listening to Steve’s mix, the song “Ready For You” by Kutless came on, and God just spoke to me. He looked at me and asked “are you ready?” And at once I was like YES! But the he said “are you sure you are ready?” and I was like “… yes… I guess… I don’t know…” And it got me thinking. Why do we answer yes when we don’t really know. When God asks if we are ready for something, why do we answer without checking our heart? Here God asked if I was ready, and without actually checking my heart to see if I was, I said yes. This is so dangerous because if we tell God we are ready, he will begin, but if we aren’t ready, it could be so much harder than it should or needs to be. This goes with this theme I have been thinking on for a long time about how sometimes we give the answer we think people want to hear, rather than the answer we should give. The one I have been talking on for a while is when someone asks “how are you?” we just give the socially acceptable answer “good”. But how much would it rock our world if we were all honest? “I’m not having the best day today, this and that are going on, but I am pushing through.” Try it, give someone who is just expecting a socially acceptable answer a real one, and watch their reaction. Or how about don’t say to someone “have a good day” if you don’t really mean it? Why would we waste words on something we really don’t mean? If you don’t mean it, don’t say it. Make your heart ready for God. (Lyrics to the song are below if you want to read them…)
Humbly His,
~ Joel

Lord, You take my heart away with Your love
and I am willing to put on my faith in Your plan.

Come and take my life.
Make my soul refreshed in truth now.

I am ready for You.
Take my heart and make me new now.
I am ready for You
to come and fill my soul.

Cleanse all of my mind that is not of You.
Break me, teaching me how to find rest in Your hands.

Come and take my life.
Make my soul refreshed in truth now.

I am ready for You.
Take my heart and make me new now.
I am ready for You
to come and fill my soul.
To come and fill my soul.

Whatever it takes,
I'm needing to make Your will be done
and I'm letting go of my control,
for I see what You've done in me.

I am ready for You.
Take my heart and make me new now.
I am ready for You
to come and fill my soul.
~ “Ready For You” by Kutless

(*Fin) NEW POST!!!

2009-01-22T17:42:00.006-05:00

I know, after almost a month, I'm back! I love blogging, but between life, love, and the pursuit of happiness (also known as break, Master's/work, and moving in with David), I haven't really had time, but now I have some downtime, so... here we go...

I have been listening to (*Fin) by Anberlin a bit now, and I'm going to post the lyrics as I discuss it cuz the song is long, and no one would read the lyrics if i posted them all...

Before I think this is written from the stand point of either someone who was raised Christian who is question his faith and all he has been taught a bit, or someone who isn't a believer, but is kinda seeking after God and looking at Christians and their lives.

"You remember the house on Ridge Road
told you and the Devil to both just leave me alone.
If this is salvation, I can show you the trembling.
You'll just have to trust me. I'm scared.

I am the patron saint of lost causes."
this is in the middle of verse 1, and when I listen to this, I think of someone who has been either hurt by the Church, and/or walked away from God. He talks about living in his house, and I think he is telling both God and the Devil to just leave him alone, and if this is salvation, you will just have to trust that he is scared, and He is now the patron saint of lost causes because he feels lost himself...

"Tommy, you left behind
something that will mean everything right before you die.
What if you gained the whole world?
You've already lost four little souls from your life.
Widows and orphans aren't hard to find.
They're home missing daddy who's saving the abandoned tonight.
Wish your drinking would hurry and kill you.
Sympathy's better than having to tell you the truth.

That you are the patron saint of lost causes."
Here I think he is talking to a guy who is so busy trying to save everyone else, he is neglecting his family at home. He is looking to help widows and orphans, and his family is at home widowed and orphaned by his absence. This should be a warning to us to not ignore our family at home. I think Timothy is empty but trying to find meaning, and has turned to drinking.

"Billy, don't you understand?
Timothy stood as long as he could and now
you made his faith disappear.
More like a magician and less like a man of the cloth.
We're not questioning God.
Just those he chose to carry on His cross.
We're no better, you'll see.
Just all of us, the lost causes."
Billy we know is a pastor of some sort. Here the writer is looking at Billy and saying "Don't you see what you did? You didn't help Timothy out, you pushed him away, and made his faith dissapear!" It is at this next line, which when I first heard it I didn't like it, that he says "We're not questioning God, just those he chose to carry on His cross." I, at first, was almost offended by this, but as I thought, I realized that so often the church doesn't help, the church can almost hurt more. I saw this funny sign online that was a church sign and it said "Don't let worries kill you, let the church help." and I laughed, but to so many people in the world, that is exactly what they think. They look around and around for someone to help, and maybe they turn to the church, but we get so caught up in our "religion" that we don't help them, we push them away with our actions, and words, and they feel judged, and condemned for who they are and their problems, instead of loved for who they are inspite of their problems. They say "if this is what God's people are like, then I don't want to be one of them." I don't want to be one of them either, I want to be a man who when people look at me they think "if that is what a follower of Christ is, then I want that" Just something to ponder, let me know what you think too...

The 4 loves

2008-12-26T01:00:00.002-05:00

Taken a bit from C.S. Lewis and a lot of other smarter guys than me...

There is this word that we throw around a lot called LOVE. But, what is love? (and I'll try and resist going into the Haddaway song)

The english language is so complex, and yet, so limiting in what we say. Like the word "praise". The hebrew language has 7 different words for praise, depending on what type of praise.

Well, the same is true of LOVE. The greek language has 4 different words for love: Agape, Phileo, Eros, Storge. I wanted to take a few minutes here and talk about what each of the different words mean, and why when i say "I love you" to one of my best friends, it is different than when i say "I love you" to my parents, and how that is different than when i will say "I love you" to my wife (when i have one).

So let's start with Eros. I want to start here, because I think this is one of the most common defenitions we in america use for love. We actually get the word Erotic from the greek word Eros. What Eros means is a romantic love, like that of a husband and wife. This is what gives us the desire for sex with our spouse, to hold them, to cuddle with them. Eros is a love that finds its ultimate fulfillment in marriage.

The next one I want to talk about is Phileo, the next most common. This is often called brotherly love (side bar, this is where we get Philadelphia from, and why Philly is the city of brotherly love). Phileo can develop between two friends who have gone through life together. This is the type of love when you say "I love you" to your best friend who has been there through fire and hell.

Third, I want to talk about Storge. Storge is like a family love, a love of a parent and child. This love is instinctual, but also develops over time. Storge expresses itself in loyalty to the family and looking past each other’s faults. Storge is expressed in respecting and honouring others.

Lastly, I want to talk about Agape, my favorite kind. The kind that I pray God gives me every day for every one I meet. Agape is an unconditional love, and this is, in my opinion, the best love, and I think in Jesus' opinion too, in John 15:13 he says,“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. Wow. NO GREATER LOVE!!! Agape is not earned, and can never be un-earned. It is not a response to something someone does for you or a feeling inside. It is a force within you that makes you act to help, save, give or sacrifice, so that someone else may benefit. This is how God loves. Agape sees past colour and race, past faith and beliefs, past support for football teams that aren’t the Eagles. This love is hardcore. Agape expects no reward; no payback. You love with agape because you can’t help it; it flows out of you. We love this way because we were made in God’s image and this is how God loves.

I want to end by saying that you can feel more than one type of love for a person. For example I feel both Phileo and Agape for many of my best friends. I will probably feel Eros and Agape for my wife, and when I have kids, I will probably feel Storge and Agape for them. I believe (and this is just my opinion, i have no real biblical base other than God=Agape, that all of the other 3 loves, should also include agape, and for those who you don't love with the other 3, you should love with Agape. Agape should be your base on which to build the other 3 loves.

That's all I have to say on that...

That's What Friends Are For

2008-12-18T12:20:00.008-05:00

By Dionne Warwick

"And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try to feel
The way we do today
And then if you can remember

Keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well, you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you

Whoa, and then for the times when we're apart
Well, then close your eyes and know
These words are comin' from my heart
And then if you can remember, oh

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times, in bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
Oh, that's what friends are for

Whoa... oh... oh... keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, oh, for sure
'Cause I tell you that's what friends are for
For good times and for bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for (That's what friends are for)

On me, for sure
That's what friends are for
Keep smilin', keep shinin'."

I am working on a video for my church, and this is the song that was requested for me to use in it, and as I am listening to it over and over again, I couldn't help but to be thankful for all of my friends that God has put into my life. My UMC family: Shannon & Ashley, Kaytee, Steve, Jonathan, Bekah, Teresa, Josh; my GMC family: Dan, Jenn, John, Paul, Robbie, Charity, Leah P, Amber, Erica, Sara, Leah J, Stacey, Angie, Amberlyn, Jenni P, Jessica; my friends here in Gap: CJ, Tyler, Jordan, Sticky, Cody & Stephanie, Glenn & Luli, Jonathan, Colby, Burnie, David, Chris, Erin, Susan, Rodney & Stephanie, Merrill, Buck, Jody & Rob, Austin, Dave, Caleb, Trevor, Dylan Ryan, Jeff, Scott, and so many more. I'm thankful for my family: mom, dad, sister, adopeted family: Josh, Beth, Kristin. My camp friends: Patrick, Cynki, James, Harry, Derick, Boss Lady; My friends from K-town: Mike, Sam, Scott, Tay, Joe, Ricky, Daniel, Alex, Henry, Sam, Sean, Dennis, Danny, Nate, Stefan, and a lot more. God, I could go on for ages and pages (yes, i did write ages and pages on purpose) about all of the friends I have had and the many ways they have encouraged me. I love you so much, and I don't know where I would be today without you guys. I pray for you all constantly, and I love you so much. In the words of the song above: "I'm glad I got the chance to say that I do believe I love you, keep smilin', keep shinin', knowin' you can always count on me, for sure, that's what friends are for. For good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more, that's what friends are for." I love you, you have helped me through so much, and many of you don't even know or realize it. I will be your friend forever, if you ever need anything...

Mighty to Save

2008-12-17T13:40:00.002-05:00

By Hillsong United

"Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

(Chorus:)
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of Salvation
He rose & conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears & failures
Fill my life again

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender (I surrender)

(Chorus:) (2x)
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of Salvation
He rose & conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

(Bridge:) (2x)
Shine Your light &
Let the whole world see
We're singing
For the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus

(Chorus)
You're the Savior
You can move the mountains
Lord You are mighty to save
You are mighty to save
Forever
Author of Salvation
You rose & conquered the grave
Yes You conquered the grave"

How comforting is that? We all need someone to comfort us, to forgive us, love us, accept us, and we look for it in so many different people, but we are never quite able to find it there, because we are looking in people, we look to people to save us, but only God can save us. Only Jesus is strong enough to move those mountains in our life, trust me, I've tried moving the mountains in my life on my own, and it doesn't work, you think you've moved it, and you go to take a step forward, and bam! there it is, so we try again. and again, the mountain is still there. Over and over again, we push ourselves at this mountain, trying to move it, but we can't. Then we finally call on Jesus (which is what we should have done in the first place, but for some reason we don't). And Jesus comes in to save us, only he can really move the mountain in front of us.

Proverbs 25:26

2008-12-09T13:23:00.002-05:00

“Like a muddied spring or a polluted well
is a righteous man who gives way to the wicked.”
Proverbs 25:26

This one is pretty hard hitting. We think “oh, I’ll just let them get away with it this one time” but then this verse says that you are like a muddied spring or a polluted well. Have you ever been thirsty and looking for water, and the only water you found so far is muddied and dirty? You don’t want to drink it. So it is with a righteous person who gives way to wicked, if a person is very, very, very, very, desperate, they might drink from you, but not for long, and only just barely to quench their dire need, then they leave you in search of clearer water. Think about it. We all know people whose water is muddy and unclear, and people whose water is clean, and who do you want to spend time with? So it is with you, people's desire to hang out with you is based often times on how clean your water is. So that is my challenge to you, evaluate your water, see how clean it is, and how pure is your well?

Dr. Horrible

2008-12-05T13:47:00.002-05:00

For those of you who haven't seen it, this is hysterical, and should be watched by all...

Joss Whedon (writer of great shows such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Firefly) wrote this during the writers strike, and got acters he knew from his various shows and movies, and made this hysterical little show/blog thing...

Waiting For The Rain

2008-12-03T13:22:00.005-05:00

Sorry about the delay, but between our trip to erie (when i had no internet all week...) and then thanksgiving break (where i had no life and played like 26 hours of a game and read a 700 and something page book) i kinda pushed this aside, and today, i realized how much i missed writing, so...

"Oh I’m waiting in this desert
Just waiting for the rain
Oh but I won’t leave this desert
Until I see the rain

And I’m waiting in the wilderness
Of promises yet fulfilled
Oh but I won’t leave this wilderness
Until I see the rain

I’m waiting for the rain
Oh I’m waiting for the rain
I’m just waiting for the rain
Oh I’m waiting for the rain

For I have heard the story told of a prophet who prophesied
Of the rain that would come in the middle of a drought
As a sign of the rain to come

And though years have come and years have gone
We’re still waiting for the rain
Oh but I can see the clouds gathering now
Are you ready, are you ready for the rain?

Open up the heavens and let it rain, let it rain, let it rain
Open up the heavens and let it rain, let it rain, let it rain
Open up the heavens and let it rain, let it rain, let it rain
Open up the heavens and let it rain, let it rain
Just let it rain, let it rain
God let it rain, let it rain
Let it rain"

~“Waiting For The Rain” by Misty Edwards

There are many times that we find ourselves in the desert, and we just don't know what to do. We have tried everything we can think of to get out, we've prayed, we've fasted, we've read God's word, but nothing seems to work & get us out. This is the story of my life right now... I'm in this desert place right now, where God seems so far, and yet so close at the same time, but even though he is there, I feel like he isn't pouring the water on me, and it's leaving me feeling very dry. I used the image of a giant rubber band yesterday. I feel like I have to get to a finish line, but strung across the course is a giant rubber band, and the harder I run, the more it stretches, and the harder it gets to push forward. Then at some point, it snaps back, and sends me flying back on my butt where I first was. Then I got up, and tried again. And again, I found myself flat on my butt where I started. And I just can't seem to push past the breaking point of that rubber band. I know if I could just get past that point, the rubber band would break, and I could move forward, but I have pushed and pushed and pushed, and I can't do it. I know that God is there with me, and as I go running at the rubber band again, he is running along with me, and adding his strength to mine, but I just can't feel it. How I long for God to rain down and wet my dry soul. "I'm waiting in the desert, just waiting for the rain" I want to give up so bad, and be like "well, this is as far as i can go, i push the rubber band, and i always fly back, I'm done." But I just can't seem to let myself do that, because I know that just a little bit more and I will break through. "Oh but I won't leave this desert until I feel the rain" I know it feels like i have been pushing for a long time, and that I can't seem to break through, but I can feel it starting to break, the rubber is growing brittle. "And though years have come and years have gone, we’re still waiting for the rain, but I can see the clouds gathering now" God, please just open up the skies and let your love fall down on me, wet my spirit, break the rubber band and let me keep running on with you by my side..............

The Wonder Of It All

2008-11-07T13:42:00.005-05:00

"You are the wonder, the wonder in all"

We were listening to my prayer mix in our solitude time this morning, and the song "The Wonder" by Seven Ministries came on. The song is about how God is greater than the greatest thing we could have ever dreamed of. "The beauty of one million stars in the evening sky, You are beautiful." When you look at everything God created, and how beautiful the world is, and then to think that God is more beautiful than it all, it just blows my mind. "The glory of the sun that shines in the morning light, You are glorious." Think about that one. The bright sun that shines, and lights up our world, God's glory is so much more glorious than that, and his glory outshines the sun so that the sun is dimmer than the dimmest star in the sky. "The wonder of all the wonders in the world, You’re the wonder of it all." We talk about "the seven wonders of the world" but what about God? of all the wonders in the world, the grass, the sky, our skin (little aside here, have you ever thought about skin? it is breathable, yet keeps out the wind; moist, yet water proof; it is tough, yet flexible; heat and cold resistant; self healing. God really thought of everything when he created skin. Think about how wonderful your skin is) God is more wonderful than all of the wonders in the world, because he created them. "When I stand before You Lord, I know, It’s not about the music; it’s not about the show. I stand in awe of You, The maker of it all." When we stand before God, we are just in awe of who he is, and we realize that all the things we try to make church and worship about are just lies, it isn't about how well we play, or if we like the songs, or if the lights and sound are good, it is about worship. Worship is about what we give to God, not about what we receive. So often, we complain that when we go through a dry season, that we don't receive from God in worship, but maybe he is teaching us that worship is about giving, and once we realize that, he will give back to us. God made everything that we call glorious, and so when we stand in awe of creation, we need to stand in awe of God...

What does being a servant mean?

2008-11-06T12:56:00.001-05:00

30In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. 35The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
Luke 10:30-35

I was reading through my bible, and when I came to these verses, God laid them on my heart, and my first thought was “these aren’t about being a servant” since the word “servant” wasn’t in there at all, but then it hit me, if any of Jesus’ parables about servant hood, this is the best I think. What more does a servant do? See, the priest and the Levite walked on by, in fact, they walked by on the other side, as far away as possible. They didn’t want to stop and help, they wanted to put themselves away from the problem as much as possible. Now, I do know that in that time, if they had touched a sick and bleeding person, they would have to do a whole long ritual to “cleanse” themselves of the disease and such. But they were so worried about their rituals and being “clean” that they didn’t want to help someone who obviously needed it. But then comes a Samaritan, an outcast, a reject. Someone who would have every right to keep on going past this man who’s people had probably made fun of him and rejected him. But he doesn’t keep going, he stops, and takes pity on the man. What compelled him to stop and do this? I think it is because he didn’t have these times and dates, and rituals and “cleansing” issues to deal with. I’m not excusing the Levite and the Priest because they had to worry about their cleansing. But the Samaritan didn’t have to worry about it, he was free from that to help. I think that is what a servant is, they put others and others needs above theirs. We often get so caught up in our “rituals”, like being in a meeting on time, or going to hang out with friends that we don’t stop to help others. We are no better than the Levite or Priest, so concerned for our “cleanliness” that we don’t stop to help others. Now, I’m not advocating being late, but I think that if you are late because you stop to help someone, that is a better testimony than to make it to that church meeting on time, or that Christian bible class on time. Now there are those who might get mad, and think the testimony is ruined because you were late for something you said you would be on time to because you were helping someone, but it is a greater testimony to God, to whom we do all our service. I’m guilty of this too, I am so worried about being in to Master’s on time (or early even) that I forget to serve, or I am so worried about doing what I need to do, that I don’t take the time to serve and help someone else who really needs my help. This is my challenge: we need to focus more on others and their needs, than to be so concerned for ours.

A real post about me & by me, and not focused on a song? Amazing!

2008-10-30T12:27:00.006-04:00

yes yes yes, I know, you guys are probably expecting a post about a song or a post about someone else, but today there isn't any of that, but there probably won't be some great thing that makes you go "whoa" or "wow" or any other such exclamations of amazement, because for some reason, I'm just not that amazing. lol, the only time people ever say "woah" or "wow" to me is because I've done something incredibly dumb and they can't believe it.

I have been thinking a lot about motives, superficiality, and excellence. How many times have I been working on something and saying to myself "this is really dumb. This would be so much better if they did ______." Here is a really good example recently i have run into. For those of you who don't know, i work from 10pm - 3am at a grocery store which is like Giant, or Acme, and the really big thing there is facing. What is facing you are probably asking. Well, facing is when we pull the products forward so that it looks like a solid wall when you walk down the aisle. Well, when we face, they say that we should do it quickly, but we also need to only pull 3 rows of product forward, and if we spend time to pull more forward, we run the risk of being reprimanded for it. That started my thoughts on superficiality. We are so concerned about making the outside look good, that we don't spend the time fixing the inner parts. Then the first 3 customers come, buy the product, and now everyone after them can see the junk and the mess behind it all. I would rather it take a little longer, get a little less done in the same amount of time and pull it all forward, so that after the first 3, we aren't looking like crap. Apparently the store manager actually goes around first thing in the morning and walks down the aisles and takes pictures of all the facing mistakes. I was told this, and a few thoughts popped into my head at once: 1) He needs more work to do, if he has the time to do that... 2) OCD anyone? 3) Someone should go around and take pictures throughout the day so he can see how superficial the facing is, 4) I have never walked into a store and looked at a shelf and said "wow, these shelves aren't perfectly nice looking, I guess I won't shop here again..." 5) I have never heard of any customer complaining that we didn't have a solid wall of product. I understand wanting it to look good, and I agree, but do we have to make it so superficial? One night a week ago or so I got so fed up with the cake mixes in my aisle that I pulled them all off and put them back up nice and neatly one shelf at a time. I got talked to for taking to long to face that night. Why do we insist on so pushing people to get stuff done that we discourage excellence? I don't understand it. They are so worried about it, the salad dressing stays a mess. There is no organization to the salad dressings! Why aren't they grouped by type (ranch together, Ceaser together, etc) or by maker (Ken's together, Shurfine together, Wishbone together, etc)? Don't even get me started on salad dressing. That is enough of that for now. I hope you all have a wonderful day, it is time for me to start my day of Master's and then more wonderful work...

What does Hallelujah mean

2008-10-24T13:34:00.000-04:00

by Nathan Howard

"Hallelujah is one of the most commonly used praise words today. Even many unsaved (non-christian) people use the word as an expression of joy. The word is also used in other faiths as well as christianity to mean "praise God!", but what does the word really mean to God?

The word hallelujah is a hebrew word meaning praise God, its greek equivalent (used in the new testament) is Allelujah. Sometimes in this silly english language of ours, words aren't really very descriptive. For example we only have one word for snow (you know... that white cold stuff that falls from the sky). But eskimos have many different words for snow because they have to describe it in different forms all the time. They have different words for snow when it's falling, snow when its just fallen, snow that has hardened, snow that is mushy, snow that is dirty, snow that is from salt water, snow from fresh water and so on....

The same is true of the Hebrew language and the words that Israel uses for praise. We just have one english word for praise and just like the word we have for snow, it isn't really very descriptive of the subject. Praise to God has even more diversity than snow. The hebrew word Hallelujah is in fact made up of two Hebrew words: 'Hallel' and 'Jah'. The second of these words, 'jah', means God as in the word 'Yahweh'. So this indicates that the praise is directed to God personally. The first of these words, 'hallel', is one of at least seven hebrew words used to describe praise.

As with any praise to God, it must be lived as well as spoken. You can't say "Praise God" with one breath and go and murder someone in the next minute! So the word Hallel indicates a lifestyle of LOVE. Just the same as a couple in love don't really care what people around them think about how they are holding hands or hugging etc, if you are really praising God out of a love attitude (hallel), then you just won't care what anyone thinks or what you look like when you are doing it. You might dance, you would certainly sing, you would probably be shouting and clapping your hands. You might even be crying when you do it! This is what happened to king David in 2Sam 6:14. He was so overjoyed that the presence of the Lord (the ark) was back in Israel that he didn't even care what his wife thought about his praise!

I would encourage you to not limit your 'love expression' to God by what others think. Don't limit it to a musical style. Don't even limit your praise to Him by a body position. When we talk and get excited about people we use body language to express ourselves. Just like the psalmist said: "All that is within me give him praise" - PS 103. Let everything you have give the Lord the praise he deserves! Don't hold back on loving your heavenly Father and giving Him Hallelujahs!"

I really like the description of what Hallelujah means, praise God with such love & totally complete abandon that we don't care what other people think because we are so in love with God.

Praise God that before his throne above I have a strong, a perfect plea

2008-10-22T13:31:00.000-04:00

"Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on his hands,
My name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heaven he stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see him there
Who made an end of all my sin.

Because a sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the One,
Risen Son of God!

Behold him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace!

One in himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by his blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God"
~ "Before the Throne of God Above" by Shane & Shane

How amazing is it that God would love us so much that he would give us such a strong and perfect plea before him for our troubles. We had a class last night called "The Truth Project" which is done by Focus on the Family, last nights "tour" was on "Who Is God?" and after it was over, we got to talking about how amazing it is that God loves us. I mean, he created us as his crowning achievement, and he created all the world, the stars, the moon, the sun, the whole galaxy, universe, all of space, just for us! How amazing is that? The splendor that we see in all the stars was created for us, so that we can see God's glory. But of all the stars, and the moon and sun and earth, he treasures us most, and because of that, Jesus pleads for us to God in heaven. And because of that, whenever we are tempted by Satan, we have Jesus on our side. Praise God with an attitude of love & such complete abandon that we don't care what people think (which is actually what Hallelujah means, maybe I'll blog on that a little later...) that we have such an amazing God.

I want to be just like You...

2008-10-18T09:23:00.000-04:00

"I tried to walk on the water and found myself under the sea
So with water up my nose I felt your hand come close to save me
I’ve tried to cast out the demons I’ve gone to the darkest of regions
When fear has me shaking you suddenly break in to save me

I desire
To be like you
Like any son or daughter
I want to be like my Father
I desire to be like you
You promised to never forsake me
So I’ll risk it all if you’ll make me like You

You stand beside me just waiting while I try to go it alone
Smiling You say son come here won’t you let me just help you
But frustrated I try to make it cause I’ve just got something to prove
Not knowing it is my weakness that perfects your power"
~ "Just Like You" by Jason Upton

I love the song above, especially the first 2 parts. We try to be like Jesus, in more than just trying to walk on water, or casting out demons, but we try to play God all the time. We try to be like God (and not in a good way) everytime we judge someone, or everytime we name someone with a label. Those are only God's things to do, God is the only one who can rightfully, justly, and mercifully judge someone, we will always end up missing something that we can't see, and then we judge wrong, and end up hurting them and us. Whenever we label someone, we only get to see what is on the outside when we label them, so we label them things like "weird", "crazy", "ugly", "gay", "stupid", "retard". But God (what a wonderful phrase, "But God", it says so much in just two words, we were in bad shape, but God... anyway, back to my previous statement), But God sees the whole picture and he is the only one who can label us correctly with things like "My son", "my daughter", "my beloved", "my beautiful one". What a difference that makes in someone's life. What if we all took the time to ask God to allow us to see people through His eyes? What would the world look like if we started labeling people as God does? This world would be so full of joy, and love, and peace, instead of sadness, hate, and war. Think about it, everytime some one hurt you, what would you be like if they had said something encouraging instead of hurtful? That is my challenge to myself, and feel free to join me in this: I want to turn our world around by speaking out life, and freedom, and acceptance no matter what. I want to build people up, not tear them down, I want to see people through God's eyes.

Higher...

2008-10-16T12:30:00.000-04:00

"I was born to love you
In everything that I do
Come take this heart of mine
Make it passionate for you my God

Let me leave all that I know
Come take this heart of mine
Make it passionate for you my God

I need You take me
Just a little bit higher
So I can get closer
To You my God"
~ "Higher" by Frontline Worship

I have loved this song since I first heard it, but it wasn't until today I really stopped to think of all of the implications of it, and think of what it really means. We were born to love God, in one of their other songs (the title of which escapes me now, which is driving me nuts) they say "I will never hold my worship, the very reason I was created". How true that is. We worship that which we love most, and we were born to love God, and therefore, we were created to worship him. But we can't do it on our own, we have to have God make our hearts passionate for him. This passion, love, and worship comes free, but if you put everything you have into it, you have to give up all that you currently love, to pursue this passion for God, but when we do, he takes us so much higher than we have ever been, just so we can enjoy more time with him. God, I want you take my life and take me higher, strip away the other things, so that i can be closer to you...

Housing...

2008-10-15T04:20:00.001-04:00

For those of you who don't know, as of approximately Dec 18th, i will need a new home to live in. The family I'm currently living with wants to take another person, and so that the incoming person can have a home, I'm giving up my place, so he can have somewhere to stay. So if any of you guys know of anyone who would possibly be able to house me, please talk to them, and/or let me know so I can get in touch with them. Feel free to give them my number if they have any questions (484) 883-3865. Thanks in advance guys, i appreciate any help you can give...

A Note from my friend Chelsea

2008-08-14T09:34:00.000-04:00

"Basically, I've heard many predictions of Barack Obama's inevitable assassination, or at least an attempt, as I'm sure many of you have also. Personally, I don't agree with many of the things Obama says or believes, but I do think he has many good qualities and doesn't deserve, like every other innocent human being, to be murdered. I will publicly announce now to whomever cares to read this that I will not be voting for Barack Obama come November. I am not posting this note as an avid Obama fan, or to promote his victory after the election. In all honesty, however, I would not be surprised in the least if he becomes president, and I think all McCain voters should prepare themselves for that.

Alll that said, because I disagree with the murder of any person and because I agree that the insane people of this country will not rest until they see some damage done to Barack and his success, I offer what little help I can. This Friday the 15th is a Holy Day of Obligation in the Catholic Church; for those of you who are not familiar with the Roman Catholic calendar, it basically means it's a feast day and we celebrate by going to church and having a special service in honor of the event or person(s). In this case, it is the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Some of you may disagree with me, but I am going to pray a Rosary on this day for the intercession of Barack Obama's safety, so that his life may be spared in the event of an assassination attempt (which I also think is pretty much inevitable). I am suggesting all people of prayer do the same, whether you want to see Obama become president or not. Which ever way you pray, and to whomever you pray, think of Obama on Friday and just offer up some prayers for his sake.

I believe no matter what happens this election, no matter who wins, God's Will will be done, I trust Him. But that doesn't mean I can't still do something to end what could be one more tragedy. As I previously mentioned, I am not posting this note to gain more votes for Obama. Rather, I'm posting this note in hopes that others will be moved to join me in efforts to potentially save another life in this culture of death.

Some of you might think this is stupid, that this is an unnecessary measure. I see it differently. As a humbling act that God will appreciate, no matter what the future holds.

Thanks for reading, and God Bless to all of you!

In Peace and Love,
Chelsea"

I personally am a Obama fan, but I wanted to post this cuz I think it is so cool to see someone wiht convictions and beliefs like that, and who is willing to put aside differences, and pray for someone she doesn't support...

I walk this empty street on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams...

2008-07-25T20:42:00.000-04:00

"I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk away!"
~ "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day

I want to apologize first off to those of you who might be offended that I'm talking about a song with the F-word in it, but I have been listening to this song, and it has been stuck in my head for a little bit now, and this revelation about the meaning of this song, and the lessons in it came to me, and I had to share it. I have no claim to really understand what the writer was thinking, but this is what I think it all means. So here we go...

The general concept of this song is about a battle in the mind ("I'm walking down the line/That divides me somewhere in my mind/On the border line of the edge/And where I walk alone") Because is struggle and fight is in his mind, no other person here can join him, to him, it is a battle that he has to fight on his own. But he doesn't want to fight it on his own, he wants help from God/some higher power ("Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me"), but for whatever reason, he feels like God isn't there to help him, he can't feel God, so he has to do it on his own, or so he thinks ("Till then I walk alone"). He feels dead, like this fight that he is fighting alone is killing him ("Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive"). This song is like his desperate cry for help in this battle that he is losing in his mind, it is a cry for someone to come up and help him.

How often have we been in that same place? We are fighting our battles, and we feel so alone. Yes, God is always there but sometimes, we don't feel it. Sometimes we each fell like we are walking down a boulevard of broken dreams, and the whole world has left us alone to do it by ourselves, when really, we aren't, but we cry out anyway for someone to find us, and rescue us from this nightmare we find ourselves in.

This pisses me off...

2008-07-23T23:56:00.000-04:00

Opinion

Guest Opinion: Peter Brooks

Low blood supplies could be boosted by a change in the law

I have just read yet another article about the crisis involving critically low blood supplies in Tucson. Darn, that is just too bad. I wish I could help. I really do. But because the Red Cross discriminates against gay men, and I happen to be a gay man, I am not able to donate.

This policy, about which most people are ignorant, dates back to 1990, when the Food and Drug Administration began banning blood donations from any man who has had sex with another man since 1977. The policy started as a guideline in 1983, before blood could be tested for HIV. They can actually ask men if they have had sex ("even once") with another man since 1977. Where else can you legally do that?

I'm sure the majority of men who are gay, bisexual or just "experimented" that one time in college simply lie to them. But I made a decision when I came out 12 years ago not to do that. Not to the Red Cross or anyone else.

Despite advances in testing, this ban has remained in place, officials say, because of concern over HIV infection among men who have had sex with men. Never mind the fact that African-American women are now the group with the fastest growing rate of infection in the United States, with Latinas a close second. According to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, these two groups made up 85 percent of new AIDS infections in 2003.

But no one pries into their sex lives when they go to donate blood, and none of them have lifetime bans on being able to donate. Seriously. We have lifetime bans.

At an FDA hearing in 2000, the last time the agency reviewed its policy, the Red Cross testified in favor of keeping what the industry calls a "lifetime deferral" for gay men. The FDA's panel of specialists voted 7-6 to maintain the ban.

The gay community has come such a long way in this country, from gaining employment protection along with other minorities, to securing the rights to adopt children and even marry in some states. But we who are men still cannot do a simple, lifesaving act, that of giving blood.

There is something very wrong here. It sickens me that a national organization, one that so many people blindly support during times of crisis, is allowed to discriminate like this and most people don't even know it.

So, I'm sorry, Tucson. Until federal agencies wake up to reality and snap forward to 2006 and stop this discrimination, there is nothing I nor many of my friends can do for you.

That pisses me off, it isn't right. You can't give blood because your gay? That is just straight up discrimination, which is illegal, I hate the FDA...

Hymns

2008-07-07T15:11:00.000-04:00

Can I just say I love hymns? The style is older, but I love the words, so many of them have some of the best words for worship songs, but we don't realize it because we get so focused on the fact that it is a hymn, and maybe it says thou and thee, but when you really stop to look at what is really being said, so many times they are so amazing, take "Be Thou My Vision" for instance, read and/or listen to the lyrics and really think about what it says...

"Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
(this verse isn't in the version i have posted here, but I like it)

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all."

wow, I love that song, really look at those lyrics and you will see what I mean, it is a song of pure praise, and song of asking God to really lead your life in every aspect. Below i've kinda provided a "translation":

"Be my vision, oh god who lives in my heart
nothing else is to me what you are
You are my best thought by day and night
awake or asleep, you are my guide

Be my wisdom and my true word
I'm with you, and you are with me
you are my father and i'm your son
you live in me, and i'm one with you

be my shield and my sword for the fight
my dignity and delight comes from you
You are my shelter and high tower
raise me to heaven, source of my power

I don't need riches or man's praise
you are all i need, now and forever
you and you only are first in my heart
high king of heaven, you are my treasure

High King of Heaven, you have won my victory
May I have joy from heaven, oh source of heaven's light
source of my heartbeat, whatever happens
be my vision, or ruler of everything"

Falling At Your Feet

2008-07-01T10:14:00.000-04:00

"Your holy voice, whispers in my ear
You break me, and then You draw me near

Pre-Chorus:
Who am I to stand, who am I to speak
Who am I to raise my eyes to meet You
Who am I to stand, who am I speak
Who am I to lift my hands to praise You

Chorus:
I'm falling at Your feet
Ruined by Your majesty
My life, my everything
Are crumbled on the ground before You

Your mercy's rich, it covers all my sin
You bought me, now I'm surrendering

You're all I want now
You're all I have
You're all I am now
You're everything"
~ "Falling At Your Feet" by Among Thorns

I don't know why, but I have been stuck on this song for a long time. As I listen to this song, it almost makes me wanna cry in worship. That may sound really weird, but it is true, it is how I feel. I love the line's "Who am I to stand, who am I to speak/Who am I to raise my eyes to meet You/Who am I to stand, who am I speak/Who am I to lift my hands to praise You" God is so good to us, but we are so unworthy of it, but he still offers us to stand before him, and speak, and to look at him. I think the first two lines of the chorus describe what happens when we are in God's presence as unclean and unworthy as we are: "I'm falling at Your feet/Ruined by Your majesty" WOW. How much does that describe what just seems to happen? I think Among Thorns is quickly becoming one of my favorite bands, just for this song.

Comment with your thoughts as well...

Yearn

2008-06-19T12:42:00.001-04:00

I wrote this as part of the UMC newsletter for May, and decided I should post it here...

Holy design
this place in time
that I might seek and find my God
my God

Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion
over You and only You
Lord I want to yearn

Your joy is mine
yet why am I fine
with all my singing and bringing grain
in light of Him

oh You give life and breath
through Him You give all things
in Him we live and move
that's why I sing
~ “Yearn” by Shane and Shane
I love the lyrics to this song. I think it describes a place we all often find ourselves at, but we rarely realize we are there, and even fewer songs are written about to describe it, or if we do know that is where we are, we don’t know how to describe it. It is that stage between not caring about God, and wanting God, it is the wanting to yearn stage. We tend to go through 3 major stages in our walk: 1) we want nothing to do with God. 3) We want God, we yearn for him. But 2 is one we don’t realize often, 2 is wanting to yearn for God, or wanting to want him. So many times we are here, and we just don’t know where we are. We want to want God, but we just don’t quite want him yet. “Lord I want to yearn for You, I want to burn with passion over you and only you”.

So how do we get out of this stage? How do we move from wanting to want God to actually wanting him? I wish I knew the answer, there are so many times in my life that it would have been easier had I known the answer to this question. But I don’t know, all I know is you just have to ask and pray that God would give you a desire for more of Him, and He will give it to you.

2008-06-15T21:31:00.001-04:00

Hey all, I'm trying this out. If I like it, I will keep using it, but we will see...